Show what I felt

Actually I was honest this evening.

 
I menioned about how I feel durling the meal. 
they all speak in Dutch so I clouldn't speak even a word these 2nights and it's not nice feeling at all.I know they are rushed into the festival. 
but at least they should speak to me durling the meal time. that's my opinion. 
I really sad because I know they loved me and can speak English better than me also this is because all for the festival.
besides, they didn't realize what I feel exactlly.   
I was cried actually. alone.  
it was hard time for me. 

I don't like to feel alone especially when I eat something, I want to feel love. I want to share the meal experience. but these 2 nights are completery not. 
I getting mad. 
I don't feel like to smile anymore so I expressed myself. 

but at the end,
I really felt I was loved by my host family totally they loves me. 
I really glad and I feel fine to mention about it. 
it was my evelest. 
I break the wall. 

this is my first emotional disscussion in English. 
i mean not an argue.

For Japanese , to blame something for friend needs lots of energy. not easy behavior. 
but I did!
I could. 
and now I feel much better. 

yes, nice experience is should fetch by myself.